Accept live organ donation as tuition,may you can donate one leg.......

University to accept live organs for tuition
by Oswald Thatendswald
Published April 1, 2011
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Many NYU students feel that they are paying an arm and a leg for tuition. Now, the university says, they won't have to — a kidney or a liver will do just fine.

The organ transplantation program is part of a new effort by the administration to increase options for financial aid.

"We are very pleased to announce this exciting opportunity for our cheapskate students — I mean, poor students," university spokesman John Beckman said. "We feel it will help at least as many people as it will kill."

In exchange for one vital organ, the university will trade one semester's worth of tuition, not including housing. The university has agreed to offer a discount on the surgery, but it ruled out offering the procedure for free.

"Of course, our endowment doesn't allow us to cover the full cost of the operation for every student," Beckman said. "Although we do our best to meet the student's needs in financing the removal of organs, we cannot promise to provide any or all of the cost of operation for any student. Do you know how many buildings we could construct with the money it would cost for over 60,000 kidney removals? We could finance that campus on Governors Island."

While it has yet to be determined where the organs will be going, a few options are already on the table. The Bodies exhibition has asked to include the organs in a special display entitled, "What it takes to get a second tier education in America." NYU Langone has requested them for transplants, but the university has said it is unlikely to part with the fresh, viable organs without adequate compensation.

"Money money money money," said University president John Sexton.

Despite the obvious ethical and medical issues the program raises, many students are optimistic and are now bracing themselves to go under the knife.

Gallatin sophomore Page Kindlebitch had tried almost everything — including prostitution and working for the NYU Phonathon — to pay her tuition bill after her parents lost their jobs and their family home was destroyed in a flash flood. But none of her many side jobs panned out after she hit her work-study cap and NYU refused her a dime more. Now, finally, Kindlebitch sees hope.

"Live organ donations are really risky," she said. "But at least I'll be able to get my degree in East Asian Cultural Feminist Sociological Studies."

Aside from healthy kidneys and livers, the program will accept lungs, intestines and even brains.

When asked how students will be expected to perform academically with loss of brain function, the university declined to comment.

A version of this article appeared in the Friday, April 1, 2011 print edition. Oswald Thatendswald is wiseman-in-residence. Email him at haikumaster@glowinthesnow.c